Why do more and more girls ask for each other's medical examination reports before starting a relationship?

"Kissing Permit"

At the moment when they were about to kiss, his girlfriend suddenly pulled her head back and dodged. Then, she looked up at Lao Wang seriously and asked him, "Do you have Helicobacter pylori?"

It was the first day when Lao Wang and his girlfriend officially became a couple, and it was also the first time his girlfriend discussed health - related topics with him. Hearing his girlfriend's question, Lao Wang didn't feel the embarrassment of being dodged a few seconds ago, nor the frustration of the failed kiss. Instead, he thought, "This girl is quite special. She must be a cautious person in relationships."

Lao Wang majored in health science at university and had a basic understanding of diseases. First, he corrected his girlfriend, "That thing is called Helicobacter pylori." Then he honestly told his girlfriend that he hadn't been tested, although he believed he didn't have it. "But if you're worried, I can go to the hospital for a check - up tomorrow." His girlfriend asked Lao Wang to get tested anyway, as this thing was quite contagious. She joked that the test report would be the "kissing permit." Lao Wang didn't think his girlfriend's request was excessive. "As long as she can feel at ease and be serious with me, it's all okay."

His girlfriend came from a family with a medical background. Since childhood, her family had high requirements for health conditions, and they even spent 2,000 - 3,000 yuan on physical examinations every year. Naturally, his girlfriend and her parents also had the same high standards when choosing a partner. When Lao Wang first met his girlfriend, she often said that she had health anxiety, hinting that he should have relevant physical examinations. But Lao Wang didn't understand at that time.

Lao Wang had worked in social media for some time and had many female fans. His girlfriend was "jealous" because of this. "Why do so many girls leave messages for you?" At that moment, Lao Wang realized that his girlfriend was worried that he had had promiscuous relationships before he met her.

To reassure his girlfriend and prove that he was a very healthy person, Lao Wang asked his girlfriend to list all the items she wanted him to check. "Instead of just checking one item, I might as well check them all." His girlfriend opened her phone, searched for a physical examination list on social media, sent Lao Wang a screenshot, and asked him to follow the list for the check - up.

There are many online guides about pre - relationship physical examinations. The recommended examination items are quite similar, almost always including 'Four Infectious Diseases: Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C, HIV (AIDS), Syphilis', 'Full - panel HPV test', 'Mycoplasma, Chlamydia, Gonococcus' and 'Helicobacter pylori'. The first three can be done directly in the dermatology department, and the last one needs to be checked in the gastroenterology department. Lao Wang followed the list his girlfriend gave him and made an appointment at the dermatology and gastroenterology departments of a nearby hospital the next day.

Still from "Young Sheldon", source: Internet

In Tianjin, 29 - year - old Xiao M also planned to have these examinations with her boyfriend before officially confirming their relationship.

Xiao M and her boyfriend were introduced to each other by a friend. After nearly two months of getting to know each other, Xiao M thought her boyfriend was good in all aspects. Whether it was their views on money, consumption, or their attitudes towards marriage, they were quite compatible. She was considering taking the relationship to the next level.

But as she got older, Xiao M had a deeper understanding of the health of sexual relationships. "Previously, when people were in college or graduate school, they were more likely to believe that most people were pure. But the people you meet at this age may have had some past relationships." In her opinion, her boyfriend was not the kind of guy who played around. But she still had a 3% - 5% doubt, and she wanted to use her boyfriend's medical report to eliminate this doubt.

In Xiao M's mind, this was something she must do before confirming the relationship. If she didn't do it, it might leave a knot in her heart. She thought that if the other person was willing to have a physical examination, it would be a plus before starting a relationship. After all, there is no perfect relationship. 'But if they are willing to do the physical examination, they definitely deserve a tick in my heart.'

But it was not easy to make this request to her partner.

Especially when it came to asking face - to - face, Xiao M felt it was hard to say. On the one hand, she had known her boyfriend for a short time, and she thought it would be embarrassing to express this request directly. There was also a 10% chance that she was worried about her boyfriend's reaction. Finally, Xiao M could only send a message to her boyfriend on WeChat, "Do you want to have a physical examination? Think about it." Her boyfriend replied with a melon - eating emoji and then said "Okay."

Later, due to work, they couldn't find time to have the physical examination, and they didn't discuss it on WeChat either. But her boyfriend's "Okay" still reassured Xiao M. "If he really had something wrong, he might have refused, avoided or evaded the topic."

Until their next meeting, her boyfriend asked Xiao M why she wanted to have a physical examination. Xiao M said that it was not a lack of trust in him, but a commitment for both of them to enter the next stage of the relationship. "It's like we both present something. If it's suitable, we might consider marriage next. After all, this relationship is not just for a short - term fling." Then, her boyfriend and Xiao M searched for some pre - relationship physical examination guides online together, made an appointment with the same doctor on the same day, and planned to have the physical examination together.

"Shall we exchange our physical examination reports?"

More and more young people are having pre - relationship physical examinations.

On the one hand, it is due to the extensive popular science on social media.

Searching for "pre - relationship physical examination" on Xiaohongshu, you can see various posts calling on people to have pre - relationship physical examinations. There are sharing of successful examination guides by netizens, video appeals from doctors, and complaints from those who unfortunately got infected because they didn't have the examination. A doctor in the department of infertility and sexual medicine also posted, "Recently, I've met many girls bringing their boyfriends for examinations in the outpatient department. Many girls said they saw on social media that they should do these."

25 - year - old Kong Kong had the idea of "Maybe we should have a physical examination, which will be better for our health" after seeing similar posts on social media.

At that time, she and her boyfriend had been together for less than a month. Influenced by the popular science on social media, Kong Kong thought it was time to exchange physical examination reports with her boyfriend. In her opinion, exchanging physical examination reports was not only a responsible and cautious attitude towards her own health, but also a way to judge whether the other person was honest and how much they valued their own physical condition based on their attitude towards the examination.

Kong Kong sent the posts she saw about pre - relationship physical examinations to her boyfriend. But at the same time, she was a bit hesitant. She wasn't sure if the examination was necessary, and she was afraid that the examination process would be painful.

Seeing Kong Kong's hesitation, her boyfriend first asked a doctor friend around him to confirm whether the physical examination was necessary and what preparations were needed before the examination. The doctor told her boyfriend that without relevant sexual experiences, there was no need to have a special examination for this.

But her boyfriend still told Kong Kong, "If you think it's necessary, we'll do it. I'll accompany you." In his opinion, the main significance of the pre - relationship examination was psychological comfort. "This examination can make your partner feel warm and secure. I think it's a very worthwhile thing." A week later, Kong Kong and her boyfriend went to the hospital for the examination together.

A photo taken by Kong Kong in the hospital corridor on the day of the examination

On the other hand, the trend of pre - relationship physical examinations also shows that women are paying more and more attention to self - protection and the satisfaction of their own needs.

A common phenomenon is that in heterosexual relationships, it is basically women who first propose pre - relationship physical examinations.

"Sexual health is not an equal issue between genders," Su Nan, a graduate student in sociology at Sichuan University and a sex education worker, told "Post - 90s Research Institute." "Women are always more likely to face risks in sexual relationships."

From a medical perspective, "Firstly, because women have a larger mucosal surface area and more body fluid contact, they are more likely to be exposed to viruses or bacteria. Secondly, if sexual penetration is involved, body fluids will stay longer in a deeper part of a woman's body, increasing the contact time. So in heterosexual sexual behavior, women have a higher risk of getting sexually transmitted diseases and infectious diseases than men."

From a relationship perspective, "Generally, men have more sexual experiences and more sexual partners than women. So, in probability, they are more likely to be carriers of viruses and bacteria in a relationship."

More importantly, "Influenced by culture and other factors, women are still in a passive position in sexual relationships. They have limited say in how to use their bodies and whether to wear condoms during the interaction." Su Nan once received a request for help from a woman. When having sex from behind, without her knowledge, the man removed the condom halfway. "So the health risks of sex are not the same for different genders." Su Nan said. This is why women will actively propose to exchange physical examination reports with their boyfriends, while men rarely make such requests.

Su Nan can clearly feel that in the past two years, among the post - 95s and post - 00s women around her, after having sexual experiences for some time, they have the need to have sexually transmitted disease examinations with their boyfriends. At the same time, some women have psychological barriers to entering sexual relationships and enjoying sexual pleasure due to the fear of getting sexually transmitted diseases and getting pregnant.

Based on this demand, in July this year, Su Nan posted two videos on Xiaohongshu calling on people to have pre - relationship physical examinations and popularized the relevant examination items.

Su Nan's sharing on Xiaohongshu

In Su Nan's opinion, pre - relationship physical examination is a 'tool' to gain more autonomy. "In the future, if you want to enter a relationship but are afraid of getting sick, you can go for this examination with your partner and ask, 'Shall we exchange our physical examination reports?' Through this question, you can see what attitude your partner has towards sexual health and safety."

If we regard people's correct understanding of sex and the degree of de - stigmatization of sex as a spectrum from 0 to 1, "A person at the 0.5 position may think that a sexual physical examination is not very urgent but should be done; a person at the 0.8 position will definitely do it themselves and also require their partner to do it. This is a manifestation of being responsible for their sexual behavior and health; a person at the 0.2 position may say, 'Do you suspect that I've been promiscuous?' 'Do you think I was unclean before I met you?'." Su Nan said. "If a person says 'Do you not trust me?' 'Do you not love me?' when they hear the other person wants to exchange physical examination reports, it doesn't mean this person has a bad character. It just means that their concept of sexual health doesn't match yours."

"The Highlight Moment"

On the day of the physical examination, the feelings of men and women are quite different.

First, during the consultation, when Xiao M walked into the skin and venereal diseases department, she held up her phone and read out the items she found online to the doctor one by one. Half - way through, the doctor understood what Xiao M meant and told her, "Considering the steps before a relationship, your selection is quite comprehensive."

But on the day of Lao Wang's examination, as soon as he told the dermatologist, "I want to check for syphilis and gonorrhea," not only did the woman holding a child in the queue behind him turn around, but the doctor who wasn't wearing a mask immediately put on one and asked Lao Wang, "Why do you want to check for this?" Lao Wang quickly asked everyone not to be nervous. "I'm not sick. I'm getting married and my girlfriend's family asked me to do this check - up."

Later, the doctor, according to the screenshot Lao Wang provided, prescribed blood tests and a three - item sexually transmitted disease test for him. At the same time, the doctor told Lao Wang that in most cases, HPV in men was superficial. If there were no cauliflower - like growths on his body, there was no need to check. In the end, Lao Wang spent about 890 yuan on the whole set of physical examinations.

Gender differences are also directly reflected in the examination process. For women, the most painful examination item is the HPV test with the help of a speculum. But for men, the most agonizing part of the whole process is the three - item sexually transmitted disease test, which requires inserting three steel needle collectors into the genitals.

A photo of the steel needle collector taken by Lao Wang, source: Xiaohongshu @TianTianManTai

During Lao Wang's examination, the doctor first asked him to insert the collectors himself, but Lao Wang couldn't do it. The doctor quickly inserted them. Each time, Lao Wang needed to rest for five minutes. The whole examination took fifteen minutes. "To be honest, if I had known it would be so painful, I would never have come again." After the examination, Lao Wang sent a message to his girlfriend, "There can't be a second man in the world who would endure these three needles for you."

Kong Kong's boyfriend thought this pain was "meaningful." "It's similar to how some husbands will experience the simulation of childbirth before their wives give birth. Since the pain has no after - effects, I think experiencing it in advance is a way to have a preview of life."

The final examination results were exactly as they expected. But this seemingly ordinary pre - relationship physical examination became a highlight moment for