Open relationships, married but living like singles, former sexual partners... We've laid bare 36 "abnormal relationships".

Young people who have been in relationships may know how complicated modern relationships can be.

The other person claims to be single, but later you find out they have someone they're flirting with, are still entangled with their ex, or have a sexual partner. No matter how many opposite - sex relationships go beyond that of ordinary friends, as long as a romantic relationship isn't officially established, it doesn't stop someone from labeling themselves as "single."

Finally, you get into a relationship, either carefully chosen or unexpectedly encountered, but it doesn't seem to be what you imagined. Why is my partner a married colleague? Why is my partner our class teacher? Why does my seemingly normal partner have strange fetishes...

If it's not a good fit, then break up. However, the social circles of adults are getting smaller. Apart from colleagues, there are few opportunities to meet new friends. So, it might be a good idea to be "companions" with your ex for now. In this lonely city, they seem to be the most familiar person.

...

Love among young people is truly different now.

So, on the eve of May 20th (Chinese Valentine's Day), "The Wave Research Institute" launched a small survey on "abnormal relationships," and 1,122 friends participated in sharing their stories. Today, on May 20th, as usual, let's talk about love, but this time, it's a bit different.

Are you currently single or in a relationship? The answers of contemporary young people are definitely not a simple binary choice.

When asked about their current relationship status, among the respondents who chose to be single, only 55% were "completely single" with "no emotional relationships" at all — full - time single.

"Full - time single" is a popular internet term. According to internet users' summaries, it is a standardized and systematic single state where one has no emotional connection, either physically or mentally, with the outside world. There is no flirting, no sexual relationships, no blind dates, no secret crushes, and no entanglement with exes. It is the purest single state in the emotional market.

The remaining nearly half of the young people can only be considered "relatively single." They are in some delicate relationships to varying degrees: flirting, having sexual partners, still being connected to their exes... Some are even kept as mistresses or are married, yet they all define themselves as "single."

Out of curiosity, "The Wave Research Institute" singled out the 2.2% of respondents who chose to be single but were married, a total of 25 "married singles." They were further "questioned" about their specific situations: 13 of them considered themselves single mentally, 10 were separated but not divorced, and 2 gave the answer of "arranged marriage for appearance."

The traditional three - part classification of "single, in a relationship, married" can no longer cover the emotional states of modern people. Nowadays, people's choices of emotional relationships are like a "spectrum": There are countless intermediate states between single and non - single. What kind of "abnormal" relationships are hidden behind these seemingly "abnormal" single states?

"The Wave Research Institute" continued to ask, why did you choose this "abnormal" single state? Here are their stories.

@Mingye

Relationship status: Single, with a sexual partner

Because I like him, but he doesn't like me. He said himself that he only likes having sex with me. But I really love him. We have no chance of being together, and we live far apart. So, for the past six years, I've been in this kind of "single with a sexual partner" situation. We've only met three times in six years. My first time, and every time so far, has been with him. I didn't choose this kind of relationship; there was no other way. He doesn't love me, and we're over a thousand kilometers apart. There's no possibility of us being together.

@Rebecca

Relationship status: Single, still connected to the ex

She has had an "abnormal" intimate relationship with her ex for nearly five years. The first three years were more of a FWB (Friends with Benefits) relationship where both sides got what they wanted. He was more focused on the sexual aspect, while she cared more about emotional needs. Due to some "stories," they entered into a healthy cohabiting couple relationship. However, after ten months, he unilaterally ended the relationship due to personality and emotional issues. In the following six months, they still kept in touch.

Maybe it's because he needs sex, and she has an emotional attachment to him.

Source: "Days of Love"

@Anonymous

Relationship status: Single, with a flirtatious relationship

Her husband doesn't agree.

@Yan

Relationship status: Single, with a flirtatious relationship

I'm feeling empty. I have many flirtatious partners, but few of them are someone I like enough to develop a deeper relationship with. I just use them to kill time and enjoy the illusion of being in a relationship. I'm not ready to start a formal relationship yet.

Source: "If You Are the One"

@Mengying

Relationship status: Single, no partner in the city of residence

We're not married, and we've never officially established a romantic relationship, but we're in a de facto relationship (derived from the term "de facto marriage"). Since we've decided not to have children in this lifetime, making money for retirement is very important. He has a well - paying job in the neighboring city, and I'm very satisfied with my current job. To earn the most money, we can't end the long - distance relationship.

I define our relationship as an "open relationship," but we've always been faithful to each other. I encourage him to have children with other women to solve his retirement problem, but he always refuses. But actually, I'm not sure if I can really accept it if he has a child with someone else one day.

@Dorami

Relationship status: Single, married but separated

Due to real - life reasons, we can't get divorced immediately and have to co - parent. But since we don't love each other, there's no intimate communication at all. So, mentally and physically, I consider myself single.

@Afkd

Relationship status: Single, no partner in the city of residence

We're in a long - distance relationship, and we use the "single" label to maintain it. It's not a sexual relationship. We've known each other for eight years and have been forced to be apart because of work and study. We never check up on each other. When we're busy, we don't talk for days. We share our daily lives with each other and consult each other on major decisions. We also travel together.

Our bottom line is to be honest with each other. Even if we have emotional needs in our own cities, we'll tell each other directly. We tried to maintain a long - distance romantic relationship before. Too close a relationship brought many problems. After several break - ups and reconciliations, we finally found this state.

Source: "Be With You"

@a

Relationship status: Single, in an open relationship

I have high requirements for my partner and won't easily enter a formal relationship. I'm happy to be in an open relationship at this stage and don't have to worry so much.

@momo

Relationship status: Single, in a sugar - baby relationship

The sugar daddy is a good deal. It's much better than other ways. The risk of other ways is too high, and a stable sugar daddy pays well.

Source: "Dwelling Narrowness"

@Chacha

Relationship status: Single, in a secret relationship with a married person

Because we really like each other, and I can't control my feelings. But there's no real future for us, and I don't want this relationship to affect my normal life.

Happy and perfect love is always the same, while alternative relationships come in all kinds.

After seeing so many PDFs on the internet about all kinds of relationships, nothing seems strange anymore. It seems that love in this world should be full of drama.

However, it's one - sided to talk about what's "normal" without considering individual differences. The establishment of each intimate relationship develops dynamically according to different life backgrounds, social experiences, etc. Maybe you secretly admired a knowledgeable teacher in your student days, or maybe you misplaced your affection in a vulnerable moment at the lowest point of your life, or maybe you're part of the sexual minority and are struggling between social norms and self - awareness.

At the same time, we've also found that along with the "innovation" of the concept of love, young people's sexual concepts have become more and more liberal.

In the survey conducted by "The Wave Research Institute," more than half of the young people can accept open relationships. Nearly 20% of them have tried such relationships, and more than one - third have never experienced them but are eager to try. Looking at the data by gender, it shows that men are more accepting of "open relationships," but the gap with women isn't large.

Maybe there's no longer a so - called "normal" standard for modern relationships. As long as it