"The Infiniti Accident on Chang'an Street". In 2014, a woman's loss and reconstruction.

Fourteen years ago, a highly significant car accident occurred. Major domestic media outlets had reported on it - In the early morning of May 9, 2010, at an intersection on Chang'an Avenue, a black Infiniti sedan, traveling at high speed, collided with a white Fiat that was waiting for the traffic light at the intersection. In an instant, the originally two-compartment Fiat seemed to have been cut in half, with only the front of the car and the severely deformed cabin remaining, which spun around one and a half times before stopping on the opposite side of the intersection.  

The Infiniti that caused the accident didn't stop until it hit a turning bus. The occupants of the vehicle got out and left on their own.  

The three people in the Fiat - Wang Hui, her then-husband, and the younger of the twin daughters, were separately rushed to three hospitals for emergency treatment. Eight hours after the incident, the 31-year-old perpetrator, Chen Jia, was controlled by the police. It was found that he was driving under the influence of alcohol. When he crashed into the Fiat of Wang Hui's family, the speed of the vehicle was close to 120 miles per hour, and there were no brake marks.  

Surveillance footage of the incident at that time 

The violent impact caused 13 fractures in Wang Hui's body, mostly concentrated on the left side. The damage to the spinal nerve left her left side completely paralyzed, and her right side unable to sense temperature. She also had hemopneumothorax and heart contusion. Her husband and younger daughter, however, passed away due to severe injuries.  

The core area of Beijing, the extremely severe nature of the car accident, and the highly educated status of Wang Hui and her husband from Peking University and Tsinghua University, among other factors, pushed this car accident to the peak of public opinion. This car accident was called the "Infiniti Car Accident on Chang'an Avenue" by the media. One year after the incident, drunk driving was written into the criminal law. In the same month, the perpetrator was sentenced to life imprisonment.  

Although the car accident itself was objectively concluded after the court's judgment, for Wang Hui, the huge loss she experienced due to this incident and the subsequent reconstruction of her life have just begun and will never end.  

In the year after the incident, Wang Hui underwent more than a dozen major surgeries. Her left calf was shortened by 5 centimeters and then re-broken to insert an extension nail. The 3rd to 6th cervical vertebrae were also fixed with steel nails. There were more areas where flesh was removed, bones were set, and skin was grafted... She was often in physical agony, and most of the time could only sleep for 4 hours by taking Dolantin. And the recovery of her physical functions requires an even longer time.  

To avoid affecting Wang Hui's recovery, those around her tried their best to hide the news of her husband and younger daughter's deaths for two months. It wasn't until she needed to sign the death certificates that Wang Hui had to face this fact. Wang Hui and her husband, graduates of Peking University and Tsinghua University respectively, met because of their love for dancing and had a pair of twin daughters after marriage. Social happiness was embodied in this family. But this car accident made Wang Hui lose her husband, her younger daughter, and the legs that could dance gracefully.  

But the kind of huge pain that people imagined did not come to Wang Hui at this moment. She felt more "confused" and couldn't believe it. Finally, under her strong request, Wang Hui lay on a stretcher to attend the memorial service of her husband and younger daughter.  

Wang Hui lying on a stretcher to attend the funeral of her husband and younger daughter (Image from a screenshot of the report by Beijing TV) 

In the first few years after the incident, Wang Hui isolated all her feelings. She didn't dare to think and recall carefully because that kind of grief would prevent her from rebuilding herself. "Once I cried, and the results of a month of rehabilitation were all gone. I even regressed, and I couldn't handle it anymore."  

She also faced more specific and difficult tasks - physical rehabilitation and the reconstruction of her life.  

Due to the damage to the motor nerve, Wang Hui's left side was almost paralyzed. In order to be able to stand up, she went to various hospitals, underwent various treatments, tried various folk remedies, and applied plasters until her whole body broke out in a rash. "I tried everything, not afraid to spend money, not afraid to suffer. At that time, my only goal was to stand up."  

Due to the fact that the left leg bone was broken and extended, resulting in bone deformation, one of Wang Hui's rehabilitation tasks was to straighten the leg bone in the hospital. However, the leg bone that took more than ten days to adjust often returned to its previous state within ten minutes due to muscle atrophy and weakness. This repetitive process gave Wang Hui a great sense of frustration.  

Now Wang Hui can walk like an ordinary person. However, due to muscle atrophy on the left side, the lengths of her two legs are slightly different, her body is unbalanced, and she walks a bit unsteadily. But this is already a one-in-ten-thousand miracle in medicine. She still falls and even fractures due to this every year. Whenever this happens, the doctor will tell her, "Don't you know that you are pieced together?"  

Wang Hui's experience has brought her a lot of attention and social support. Donations from strangers, help from medical professionals, and insurance payouts have played a significant role in her long, timely, and expensive rehabilitation process.  

Image from a screenshot of the video report by Beijing TV 

The physical changes have brought many limitations to Wang Hui's life. For example, she can only wear shoes with air cushions, and her braid can only be tied on the left side because her left side, including her arm, cannot be twisted greatly. Moreover, the excessive muscle tension makes her body stiff every morning when she wakes up, especially on cold and cloudy days.  

There are solutions to physical pain, but the torments that exist in the deeper soul are more difficult to deal with. For example, how should she accept the pain of losing her husband and daughter? How should she get along with her twin elder daughter who has also lost her closest relatives? And the resentment towards the perpetrator... These are the life issues that she, as a survivor, cannot escape.  

Since 2015, Wang Hui has begun to systematically study psychology to find answers.  

Wang Hui has asked different teachers many times, "Is there really someone who can forgive the person who has taken the lives of their family members? If so, how did they do it?" Wang Hui has been exploring the topic of forgiveness for a long time. In the end, she found that ultimately, it is about forgiving herself. She doesn't want to live in resentment forever.

Now Wang Hui always smiles. Her eyes are curved, and her tone is gentle, giving a natural sense of closeness. After years of study, she has become a well-known psychotherapist in China and founded the Weisui Public Welfare Psychological Counseling Institution to help more people grow and get out of pain.  

Wang Hui now (Photo provided by the interviewee) 

In the 14 years since the incident, Wang Hui has told her story countless times, either in front of the media or as the head of the Beijing Traffic Safety Propaganda Group to give safety lectures. But she no longer wants to define herself as a victim of a car accident. "Now I am an experiencer of life." She doesn't worry or suffer for any things that are out of her control. She says she accepts everything that happens.  

The following is Wang Hui's oral account, sorted and published by "Post Wave Research Institute" -  

Losing Feelings and Mom

In the years after the accident, I was closed off. I didn't see many outsiders. Every day, I was recovering, having surgeries, looking for hospitals everywhere, and then undergoing treatments, sleeping, resting, massaging, and doing rehabilitation exercises. That was my life.  

Everyone around me would also be cautious with you; many things at home were dealt with, including photos and computers that were sealed up. Everything that should be hidden was hidden to avoid seeing previous things; I always relied on others to take care of me.  

There is another group of people in my life. They didn't dare to come and see me. It was a long time later that they told me that they couldn't come to see me because they couldn't bear it. They didn't know how to come and see me in what state. In fact, they were avoiding me.  

You see, in the part closer to the incident, it seems that I looked calm. At that time, it was a kind of dissociation, a state of emotional isolation. I didn't know how I felt, nor how others felt. I was like a zombie, not really living in the real world. When you saw the blue sky, it was just the blue sky, but you didn't feel anything. When you saw a tree, it was just a tree. Then when you turned around, you forgot everything. Nothing could stimulate you.  

It is a kind of wisdom of human self-protection. In fact, from a short-term strategy perspective, it is helpful. It allows you to survive. Otherwise, you would be in too much pain. At that time, it was beyond what I could bear. If I felt the emotions, I would collapse, and all the rehabilitation would be in vain. But in the long-term strategy, it doesn't work because you can't always interact with people and have no connection with yourself. There will be problems in your interactions with your children, family, and even the team.  

Wang Hui in the first few years after the incident (Image from a public report) 

I didn't shed tears for a long time. Seeing others crying bitterly, as if they were very sad, I didn't feel anything and couldn't cry either because I isolated (my feelings), including when my mom died, I didn't have tears.  

In 2015, my mom died of lung cancer. At that time, it had been five years since the incident. I didn't have tears. I felt that it seemed not right. I should have cried, but the tears wouldn't come out. Then I could do whatever I needed to do, but I just couldn't think about it.  

It was also from that year that my rehabilitation therapist told me that I needed to step into society and interact with people, not live in my imagination or the past. So I started learning psychology in 2015.  

But I got stuck when I was learning Satir Family Therapy because there is a very important tool in family therapy called the Iceberg Theory, in which feelings are a very important thing. You need to know this feeling to move forward, but I didn't have it, so I got stuck. I couldn't experience others. I just watched, observed, and deduced with my head. I was a bit of a top student before, which made me particularly frustrated.  

Later, I learned hypnosis and gradually started to reconnect with my body and breathing. I did various exercises every day. Little by little, I began to have feelings, began to be able to smell the fragrance of flowers, and you have the feeling of being alive. Emotions also began to emerge, and many of your emotions flowed through. Tears couldn't be stopped. It seemed to be a mess, but in fact, it is a very important part of a real recovery. Then I went to learn family therapy again and did very well.  

In 2015, I obtained the National Level 2 Psychological Counselor Certificate. At that time, my mom's lung cancer was actually quite serious, but I was still like an immature child. I felt that she couldn't leave. When others told me that she had lung cancer or something, I just wouldn't think that she would leave. Only she and my current husband supported me to study. The rest of my childhood friends and all others said that your mom is like this, and you don't accompany and take care of her well. How can you still go to study.  

There would be a part of me that was avoiding and didn't want to face my mom. Actually, I do regret it, but I don't condemn myself anymore. At that time, it was very difficult for me to deal with. I didn't know what to do and didn't have the energy to do these things.  

Because I am an only child, and my mom is very capable. She handled everything for me, and I didn't need to worry about many things. The guidance she gave me was correct. Whether I was admitted to Peking University or worked in a good company, I asked my mom for many things, which made me avoid many detours.  

After my mom passed away, the house was in a mess. Because my dad was used to being taken care of by my mom, and I had to become an adult again to support the family. I was in my thirties but still like a little girl. Everything had to start anew.  

Living for Oneself

When my mom died, I didn't cry, and my daughter didn't cry either. In fact, we were both isolating our feelings. But at that time, we didn't understand. Sometimes I would say that she was an ungrateful person. Grandma was so good to you and raised you since you were a child. She died, and you didn't cry. My dad also couldn't understand it. My dad scolded her severely, saying that raising her was worse than raising a dog.  

At that time, I really caused my child a great deal of pain. I always felt that the secondary trauma of my elder daughter was caused by my dad and me. It might even be more serious than the previous car accident, completely denying her from the deepest part of her heart. There was no way. At that time, I couldn't control myself, and